Dealing With Judgments
Everyone judges everyone. Everyone gets judged. It takes your brain 7 seconds upon first meeting a person to make a judgment about some aspect of the person. For teenagers, you probably make a judgment about someone by the time you first hear their name. And you’ve probably made 7 judgments about the person by the time you’ve known them for 7 seconds. Sometimes they’re good, other times they’re not. Let’s assume they’re not. How do you deal with being judged all the time? Should you deal with it at all? Do you need to? Well I don’t know, this is a personal issue, but I’ll walk through what goes on in my life, and how I deal with judgments, being judged, and relying on judgments.
Background information. (Let’s assume you don’t know me) I stand at a whopping 5’10″, weighing a total of 125 pounds. I have 3 piercings, a tattoo, and a style that’s not to be fucked with. I’m colourful, wear a lot of those stupid rubber bands on my arms, and always have a hat on. I love skinny jeans, hi tops, converse, sunglasses, and accessories. I’m a pretty easy person to judge when it comes to how I look. And to top it all off, I’m in Commerce. Arguably one of the most proper, well-dressed, appropriate groups of people you can find. Commies look hot, enough said. The girls always have their hair done, makeup ready, clothes organized and matching. The guys are shaven, collared, Sperry’s on, glasses, and short hair. I’m basically the opposite, so it’s hard to fit right in based on looks, but it’s not that bad in the end.
So judgments. Should you care about them? Yes. You should, they’re how people view you off the get-go. You should know, even if it really plays no role in your life. Whenever I become closer friends with people, something they always end up saying is like, “Wow, I never would’ve guessed you ______.” Exactly, because they made a judgment, relied on it, and stuck that whole assumption onto your entire personality. For me, I know that people think I’m an Arts student, don’t get good grades, love going to raves, aren’t social, and that I need help. But for me it’s almost the opposite. I’m in Commerce, I get good grades, I listen to metal / house, I love meeting new people / talking to anyone willing to talk to me, and I’m probably the MOST secure person you’ll ever meet in your life. But, I accept the ways that people judge me, because you need to be able to understand obstacles you have in your way. The more information you have, the more prepared you are to fix things.
I was talking with my buddy once, who is also in Commerce, and he literally just said something along the lines of, “Man, I can’t even imagine what you go through being in commerce, just the judgments, and the looks and shit.” And he’s one of my good friends; he was just surprised that I can deal with it. But hey, it’s who I am isn’t it? I know who I am, and if people like me for who I am, good for them; if they don’t, well then they don’t have to talk to me.
If you’re going to tackle people’s judgments of you, you have to know yourself really well first off. Which leads into my second point of how do you deal with judgments? Just be comfortable with yourself. You have flaws; you’re not perfect are you? People are always going to try to get you down, but who cares. People say, oh you don’t look like a commie, what gives? But … does it matter what I look it? I am a commie for the sole reason of being in commerce. And that’s the whole story. I don’t care what you think I should be in; you can either accept that I’m in Commerce or leave.
Sometimes, sure, I wish people would read my blog, or my Twitter or do something to get to know me before they judge me, but of course people won’t. Why would you read up on someone? Yeah of course I sit down sometimes and just wish I could be auto-accepted by everyone and be good friends with the world. But if I have to give up on what I like doing, which I am, or my values, well then sometimes it’s just not worth it. That’s why I wanted to be a Boss so badly for frosh week, because I knew that was a way I could get closer with a lot of the commies, showing them I wasn’t as weird as people thought. It’s another reason I love group work, I get to show people that there’s more to me than what they believe. Gives me a chance to prove myself.
That’s all it is when you’re talking about judgments. Proving something. You can either prove that THEY’RE right and be exactly what everyone expects, or you can prove them wrong and show them who you really are. You may or may not ever get that chance to prove to them who you are, and you need to be okay with that.
And of course the flip side, I always judge people. But because I know how it is to be judged, and be judged a lot, I try my best not to rely on those judgments my mind makes. Someone looks different than I do doesn’t make them weird, or ignorant, it means they have different fashion choices. If we weren’t such a materialistic society, that wouldn’t be an issue. If you judge people, and you do, just give them a chance afterwards. A real first impression of who they are, don’t rely on what you think they’re like, let them show you.
That’s all it boils down to with judgments. Someone judges you, prove him or her wrong, or conform to what they think. You judge someone, at least be decent enough to see who they really are. I think overall I’m a pretty good person. I do my schoolwork; I’m friendly, open, and interesting. But you know, what I also accept is that I’ve never really tried to prove myself to any of the commies.
Instead of hanging out with them and learning about them, I just hang out with others. So as much as I say that I get judged and such, I don’t do anything to counter-act that, but I’m okay with that. Make sure you don’t do that though. Don’t be upset that people judge you, and do nothing to stop it. Either do nothing, and be okay with the knowledge that they have no idea who you are, or do something and change their opinions of you.
Tough skin, an open mind, and conversation starters are all you really need to get through society today. Judgments are natural, don’t let them overwhelm you, just be proud of who you are and what you do. 
